Three Simple Book Covers for Three Short Novels (and the contents - in their entirety - therein)

Novel #1: You Were A Put-On

It was daylight, and Jonny Shade was spreading his ass wide for the two girls sitting on his bottom bunk who dared him to do it. Hey, he's high anyway so what the fuck? They said they'd both fuck him if he did it and make out with each other while they did it. They both had big tits and kinda flabby arms and one had a big mole on her arm that had hairs sticking out and was kind of distracting and not in a sexy way but a way that make you think about your mom. He was worrying about his dick getting hard because of all the drugs he was on but figured that once one of them touched it it wouldn't really be a problem. He could hear them laughing behind him and whispering to each other and the strange feel of cool air on his asshole, which was new, but nice. He heard the girls whisper more and one say "totally" and then laugh really loud. They both told him to spread it wider, so they could see inside, and he said that that was pretty impossible but here goes. He pulled his cheeks further apart and could feel almost like the air was farting into him. One of the girls asked if she could stick a finger up there to feel and he said why not, if you're nice. He could feel her nail scrape against his hole in a way he couldn't tell if he liked or not. He flinched a bit and she stopped and then started in again, only harder, digging it in like she was fishing for a clam in the sand. He felt like it was dumb to let a girl with nails do it, that, shit, at least a guy wouldn't have nails like that. He heard himself say cup my balls, willya? and that made her laugh. She grabbed them with her other hand and yanked on them hard, making him go a little weak in the knees with surprise.

That was when one of the girls gasped and said ok, are you ready? and he blacked out.

Novel #2: If I Told You The Truth, You'd Be Dead By Now.

Dear Diary,

Outside, the rain drops like bombs and I hate Tina and her stupid face. A week away will be good, but two would be better. I don't know what to do that won't make me cry so I make salty cookies and sit on the couch and watch Erin Brockovich 3 times in row cuz Albert Finnly makes me think of a happy dad and that makes me happy.

Dear Diary,

If I said I hallucinate would you look at me funny? Would you even notice?

Dear Diary,

I want to sell all my stuff and sit in an empty room and write with paper and a pen I stole from school. I wouldn't make a mistake because there wouldn't be any way I could. I wouldn't let anybody come in and bother me and I wouldn't bother anybody but you and I don't bother you because you don't exist. I would sleep next to you, with my hand on top of you, so you wouldn't blow away when the wind would get strong at night even though you'd try.

Novel #3: Lesson Learned

buy batteries.